"Evening At Swanbrooke Cottage, Thomashire

Walking trails accompany even the smallest stream in England, and on a summer's evening a peaceful stroll beside a gently whispering brook is guaranteed to restore even the most burdened soul. On one such evening walk in England, my family and I came upon the idyllic cottage on which I based this painting. With lush gardens and the constant murmur of the tiny brook, I can't imagine a more enchanting setting!

— Thomas Kinkade"

This is certainly one of the most heinous cottages in his whole panoply of sanity-rattling paintings, and before you start checking your bank balance I have to tell you, this image is, I hate to tell you, sold out. Mr. Kinkade "can't imagine a more enchanting setting!" I think I could if I didn't have my skull circuits overloaded with mescaline. But if I had a headful of PCP I have to admit, this is about as tranquil a spectacle as I could conjure. I wouldn't want to be even on this property much less in the house. I would be too afraid of whatever three headed lavender cyclops would come out of the psychedelic woods, which appear to be in the process of encroaching upon the structure, probably to devour it, since it looks a lot like food. Living in what appears to be a gigantic cake cannot be anyone's notion of enjoyment, but like I say, this particular masterpiece has been sold out. It is on the walls of ten thousand clearly deranged residents who are gazing upon this scene with sighs of longing and quiet frustration that they cannot actually be inside the place.