Clocktower Cottage

"Clocktower Cottage is a meditation on the nature of time. Two events inspired the painting: the birth of a friend's baby, followed by a visit to a dear old man, who calmly told me we would probably not meet again in this life. I was struck by how, from first breath to last we are enmeshed in the mystery of time.

— Thomas Kinkade"

I have not altered the color of the ink in this painting or print. It really is done in various shades of grape. I was ESPECIALLY moved by the poignant philosophies expressed in the Thomas Kinkade Thought Process and Meditational Insights regarding things that probably never actually happened. I mean this son of a bitch just has a few too many Poignantly Pat situations and memories to suit me. I wonder if his customers are also so studiously aware of the passage of time as is the fellow painting the offset lithos they are buying for hundreds of dollars with gargantuan print runs and if they realize that the older they get the more worthless these prints will be, sort of like the Oreos package in your trashcan right now. which, incidentally, is easier to look at than this painting. But what the fuck, let's take a LOOK at this painting. It's a cottage with a clock tower. So he says. Even though I cannot actually see a clock. I do see what looks like a pendulum in a window, a very huge one that could not possibly swing through enough degrees of arc in that confined an area considering it's size, to ever operate. Not to mention that it is far too short to function either. The ichor-like meandering stream outside the place has what looks to be standing water, not flowing water, being slowly released from a collecting reservoir in the backround with a very small dam, such that if it did overflow it would uproot the cottage and disintegrate the mud and sand that likely holds the larger blocks together. It would disappear during its first winter on that flood plain upon which it has been built. I don't mean to interrupt my critique but I want to know why he would never meet the "dear old man" again. Was he on his way to San Quentin to be executed? And who the fuck does this motherfucker think he's kidding with this load of horsecrap about two incidents "inspiring" this particular "painting." EVERY GODDAMN PAINTING HE DOES IS IDENTICAL TO EVERY OTHER! NOTHING "INSPIRED" THIS ONE OTHER THAN HIS OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE NEED TO PAINT SHITTY COTTAGES!!!! I have decided that the thing in the tower is a bell. The cottage has a BELL tower, not a clock tower. This make no difference to Kinkade, as far as he's concerned it's a clock tower. I do see what appears to be the face of an analogue clock below the bell. Surreal apparitions in his paintings are never a problem for Mr. Kinkade, they add to the jumbled charm, and after all, they are going to be purchased by jumbled people, why confuse them with an actually good painting at this point? And just to illustrate how unintellectual this horse's ass is, he knows and I know that this painting is not a reflection of any kind of meditation on the subject of time and time's implications. He would not be able to have a meditation about anything except how to sell a shitty painting to an idiot. This is just another shitty-cottage garish mess. There is no "depiction" of any kind of "reflective thought process on a theme of mortality" here.
There's just a shitty painting of a green cottage surrounded by purple trees in a soulless environment.