"Santa Barbara, California is often called, "The American Riviera." Yet even with its many art galleries and theaters, the most popular site in the city sees to be the Old Mission. Graceful and lovely Spanish architecture of the mission — over 200 years old — stands proud, gleaming in the golden California sun.
— Thomas Kinkade"
This is the worst painting of the Santa Barbara Mission I have ever seen. It might be the worst painting of the Santa Barbara Mission ever painted. This is not a fantasy cottage for retarded children to ogle and want to play in, this is a real actual place done in what the "painter" is likely to call a "realistic" manner or, being the optimistically-inclined-toward-his-own-limited-art-skills person that he is, he might call "impressionistic," or maybe "plein aire" if he knew that terminology. In fact, to help the fellow out here if he is having difficulty, it is a basic representational picture of the Mission when it was new. And it is a very bad basic representational picture of the Mission when it was new. Here he lays his skillessness, or his vaulting laziness, one or the other, right in front of you and dares you to not see what is there. And what is there is not very much. The building has absolutely no depth or any SENSE of depth. It is a movie facade. Maybe he hates Catholics. A lotta Protestants do, and I assume he is - if he's really a Christian at all - a Protestant. This looks like it was done in five minutes. The original probably sold to some reetard for ten grand and the numberless lithos pro'bly went for 250 and up. Depending on size. On any level this is
a sketch. While it seems to Kinkade that the most popular site in Santa Barbara is the Mission, anyone who lives there knows it is State Street and the pier. The real mission actually is imposing because it is on high ground with absolutely nothing impeding the view to the sea, and has nothing built near it to dwarf it, and the broad flat adobe of the large facade reflects a lot of light. Something the "Painter Of Light" has completely and inexplicably not concerned himself with this time. In fact, this is drab even by Kinkde's listless standards. He has turned a genuinely dramatic building and setting into a dead, dusty, empty seemingly abandoned ruin. Kinkade never fails to fail. Good job, son, there is probably no painting in your whole inventory that showcases your worthless abilities more than this one. If the mission "stands proud, gleeming in the golden California sun" there is absolutely no evidence of that in this painting. So why would you mention it? Why not talk about the weather in Borneo or a fish sandwich you had last Thursday? That would be JUST AS IRRELEVANT TO THIS PAINTING as "the missions stands proud in the golden California sun. And I watched Burn Notice Saturday." Holy Jesus Fucking Christ Almighty. What the fucking fuck.
No comments:
Post a Comment