The yellow, searing thermonuclear circle arising up over the top of the Kinkade Kottage is supposed to be the moon. You really have to wonder sometimes if Kinkade is intentionally trying to see just how far he can prod these old fucks who buy his shit, just to see how far he can prod these wizened boneheads into Believing Anything. I mean if the guy illustrating the retarded edition of Peter Rabbit submitted this as one of the illustrations for Peter Rabbit's house at night he would be fired. Then sent to Iran for execution. The moon is admittedly a bit hard hard to see. It is at the base of the phlegm-colored bright yellow cloud formation near Chimney Number Two. The one with the two smoke stacks.
"In Moonlight Cottage, I celebrate the enchanting moment when the moon begins to appear above a sheltered cottage set within a forest. Beholding this scene as the sounds of the forest envelope you and the moist fragrance of evening fills your lungs would be a transcendent moment. I cannot imagine a more peaceful experience.
— Thomas Kinkade"
Do you see a "forest" here? Do you see the "moon" and not an " ascending nuclear fireball" here? Do you hear sounds of the forest enveloping you here? Are you smelling moist fragrances with your lungs? Are you having a "transcendent moment" looking at this? Is it good for you that Thomas Kinkade cannot imagine a more peaceful experience? Why would anyone in their right mind give a shit what "Thom" Kinkade can or cannot imagine? He cannot imagine a more peaceful experience. I believe that. His imagination is clearly limited. At least based on his portfolio. He does not seem to be able to get his imagination past the nursery school stage. I mean, I critique the guy but it could be that he has a developmental disorder. It could be he can barely function in society and that God really has given this spazzed-up twecko tweaked-over drooling reetard - who for all I know might sound like a
moaning water pipe when he talks - a gift for accurate, proportional childish renditions of bunny scenes. I mean I NEVER HAVE seen a video of the fellow in action. It could be he is a poster boy for Steven Hawking disease, I don't know. But I am assuming he is a normal-appearing, normal-sounding sort of fellow who if he entered Chilis while you were waiting for a table, he would appear ordinary. Except for the packed-on transfat from which his penguin arms and legs emerge, of course. So maybe he really CAN'T imagine a more peaceful experience than the one thus described here with second-grade vocabulary and compositional skills. If Kinkade has Downs Syndrome I most sincerely and humbly do apologize to the guy. Really: I would be WAY outa line under that circumstance. Can we get back to this horrible picture? I can only assume, because I am MORE than generous in my assumptions regarding Kinkade paintings, that the standing water in the left foreground is the remainder from an imaginary storm that passed by and is not the transcendent cottage's septic tank gurgling through the rock-hard ruts in the dirt. And can we talk about that fucking lamp over there in the middle of the weeds that is a fixture in every Kinkade painting of a cottage because he "cannot imagine" a cottage painting without one? I mean, there ain't even a PATH near THAT one. It's just fuckin' THERE. And where are the powerlines for these things? Or for ANY of the billion cottages in the billions of cottage pictures? Is the "light" that he is a "painter of" coming from fuel lamps? No wonder there's so many fucking chimneys in all these houses. It must be like a forest fire in there. And how is it these little primitive oil lamps shine so fucking BRIGHT? Are we looking at them through time-lapse paint?
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