Cottage By The Sea In Monochrome Blue

"Though this cottage doesn't exist anywhere but in my painting, I think for many of us it represents an ideal seaside getaway. When the tide is out, you could wander amongst the rocks searching for the perfect seashell for your collection, while the lonely call of seagulls echoes overhead. Of course, I had to paint the scene at sunset. After all, what would a seaside cottage be without a beautiful sunset to watch?

— Thomas Kinkade"

In even the Thomas Kinkade universe of Art Appreciation this is a piece of shit. He says this cottage only exists in his painting. It barely exists even there. It is a superficial slopwash of crap. He can only be talking to a two year old mentality in saying that a very amateurish painting can represent anything to anyone except a very bad painting. He talks about the tide being out in this pasteboard mess as though some human being is staring at it and drooling with exctement and can't wait to climb up onto the gallery wall and leap inside the frame and run slappity slap to the water yelling "yippee!!!" It's a goddamn painting, "Thom," and not a very good one. Nobody wants to wander among the goddamn imaginary rocks badly depicted in this weirdly illuminated sunset grotesquerie. And "Thom"?.....seagulls do not screech lonely calls. Seagulls screech very abrasive calls, calls filled with self-confidence and self assurance. Seagulls are extremely gregarious and have real actual friends and are probably better and more sincere company than you. They are never lonely. They always have billions of buddies around them. HAHA He "had" to paint the scene at sunset. "Thom," it's a good thing you said what's going on here because based on the lack of shadows or clue to any light SOURCE one would have to assume that it was the interior of a photo shoot with lights on all around. Oh, and "Thom"?....exactly where is this beautiful sunset you're talking about. There sure ain't one in THIS picture. Is there another sun rising behind the viewer? It LOOKS like there is, there's so much godamn fill-light. At the first storm with the moon and one of those suns in alignment that human doghouse is gonna be history.